Macon Half 2012: The Power of Perception

I realized after St. George that the problem wasn’t with my training or fitness, it was in my head. When you first try something new it’s easy to have a positive attitude and open mind. Then, the longer you stick with it and expect to improve the more you are tied to expectations. If I don’t hit x or do y, I’ll be mad. If I don’t improve x amount, I’ll be disappointed etc.

I realized this is the trap I had fallen into. It’s all well and good if my expectations were sensible and allowed some degree of error, but instead they are always somewhere on the scale of ‘if things go absolutely perfect’ to ‘slightly unrealistic’ I realized what I need to do is take a step back and just have fun, and remember how to go by feel again.

Step one was chilling out a little be pre-race. Although I had a tiny bit of nervousness, I was way more relaxed than I have ever been. I went to bed close to 11 (gasp) forgot and consequently had to ‘make’ my own race belt last minute. There were other lapses or changes in terms of preparation that I never would have allowed myself previously.

This race was fantastic because it was a designated ATC volunteer event, plus we had 30ish people racing. So well over 100 club members out on the course. It was awesome and really added to an already great experience. The second great thing was really mild weather compared to most years. Often the temps reach to over 100 on this course known as the ‘toughest half in the southeast’ This year, it only got up to high 80s, which is a best case scenario for macon.

There were also a few interclub rivalries and lots of smack talk, which always adds to the experience and makes it a ‘race within a race.’ Finally, another unique feature of Macon is that it has an Open division and offers prize money to the top five in each gender. The money is awarded to top five regardless of division.

I had originally thought about entering the open division, but in the end, in keeping with my ‘no expectations’ theme I decided to stay age group.  

The swim started and I just went out hard. Surprisingly, I felt pretty good. I didn’t have that … “I hate my life, I’m going to drown, why am I doing this,” sort of thing that often occurs in the first few hundred anaerobic yards. I saw right away that I wasn’t going to be able to find good feet. The wave was spread out and I was actually swimming towards the front of the group. Believe it.

Our wave was the womens wave. Half of the guys started three minutes before and the other half six minutes before. There were a few that I really wanted to catch from the club so I was ready to spot whoever I could. My main club ‘rival’ for this race was Andrew, who has just started the sport and I know isn’t a good swimmer yet. In my pre-race plan I figured I would outswim him by a bit, get way behind on the bike, and hopefully make some back on the run (I should mention that he is a way faster open runner and cyclist than I, so I am basically picking on the new kid while he figures out how best to put all three sports together. I know my days are numbered, especially after yesterday!)

So here I am, swimming along, getting in the last several hundred yards, and suddenly I see the familiar stripes of our new club shorts ahead of me in the murky water. I do a double and triple take.. could it be? Here is my chance to drown him and make up some more time! Just kidding. In all seriousness there may have been a bit of jostling as I swam past him and he may have grabbed at my ankle and pulled my timing chip. OR maybe it was someone else .. it’s hard to say. GA lakes are disgusting and it’s hard to see!

So I get out of the swim feeling great. I know I swam hard.. thank goodness I Didn’t have my watch because I would have freaked at my slow time. I think the swim was definitely longer than usual this year.

Get off on the bike and I feel okay. The next change in my plan is just to have up my three second avg power instead of average. I get stuck chasing an arbitrary average and then get frustrated when I don’t hit it normally. I decided instead to just go by feel. I knew Andrew would be coming up behind me and wanted to hold him off as long as possible. Also, another guy in our club, Jerome, is a great cyclist and a slow swimmer. I figured I had passed him in the water, too and he would be coming up behind me eventually. (Actually, oddly, I had a dream a few nights ago where he beat me at this race, so it got in my head a little bit. It was weird but I’m sure his girlfriend Jessica thought it was Really weird when I told them both!)

After about thirty minutes, Andrew caught me and we exchanged words. I can’t remember what was said exactly, but I remember thinking how much time can he put in me the next few hours? Also, he passed me pretty quickly, but I noticed that he was still in sight for a very long time. After about an hour, I started having some negative thoughts and the familiar shoulder pain, wanting to sit up, etc. I realized it was time for my red bull! I kept putting it off since I only allowed myself one the whole race (This was another change my coach and I had made post St. G. .. limiting the caffeine!) Also, Jerome caught me and pulled away during this time. He really zoomed away and I could tell he was going to have a great race.

I finally had my elixir about 2:00 in and felt markedly better. Before I had felt like my power wasn’t there and that I was destined to fade a bit towards the end of the ride. Instead I decided to stick with the theoretical ‘plan’ and push as hard as I could for the last ten miles (I saw theoretical because this is the first time I’ve actually had the goods/opportunity to do it)

I reminded myself that I know I can run even when my legs are completely destroyed.. I practice it in training all the time. So I started going as hard as I could and with about three miles to go, I see the familiar sight of the ATC uniform. Could it be? I pulled up next to Andrew and said ‘getting tired?’ knowing this would result in him leaving me in his dust.

We got into transition around the same time, but I could tell by his manner that he was getting tired and it wasn’t his day. Started off on the run and it was amazing to see all the ATC members volunteering at each aid station. Jared, Rich, Jim, and Joseph and their cohorts were all quick with providing my much needed water and coke and the miles started clicking off. I caught Jerome again around mile three and he was looking great and way ahead of his projection. I saw Paul, Ted, and David G ahead of me on the out and backs and it looked like they were all doing well, as expected. David had started six minutes ahead of me, and I hadn’t even really even had him on my radar prior to the race (okay, that’s a lie. Of course he was on my radar… my ambition is never limited by my actual abilities) The reason is he has been  killing me in all three during training. BUT,  I started to notice that I might be gaining a little because it seemed like I was a little closer during each out and back. 

I really just felt great and although I was pushing myself to the max the miles were going by quickly, and I just felt like it was my day. I kept noticing my positive attitude and marveling at the difference it made. I mean, I didn’t even know what my average power was for the ride, swim time, or cumulative time. I thought it was impossible to move one foot in front of the other without those metrics!

I saw lots of club members out there during this time and it was something additional to look forward to. It really is better racing with friends!

Prior to the race I had allowed myself to briefly dream the dream of getting a 1:33 run, the same as in New Orleans six weeks ago. I knew if I could do it on this course, it would be a Much better performance than NO.. with the hills and the heat. Somehow my body knew what to do, because I swear I pulled my watch face out (remember, no straps!) like two times over the course of the run and I just managed to get in the 1:33s still.

I crossed the line and was smiling/grimacing and realized that I had had Such a great time. I was able to meet one of the open competitors, Marni, whose blog I read and who is a great athlete. I remembered her name as winning our AG at my first IM, WI 2010 and admiring her speed and hoping someday I could race in the same zipcode as her.

I watched the other competitors come in and everyone looked great. We had a number of friends receive awards and I was very excited to come in 4^th female overall, including open and age group and receive $250! John won his age group at the sprint, too, so it was a good racing day for the Rutledges. I was/am Extremely sore afterwards, and had a migraine that’s still hanging around so I know I pushed myself to the limit this time. All in all, going by feel was so great, I definitely need to carry that into the next race.

Two Half Ironmans and one full Ironman in six weeks. Good stuff! Wish I could do it all again in the next six weeks, but it’s time to buckle down and ‘just train’ for a few weeks at least.