The perils of using facebook as your training log

There are all types of facebook posters in this world. Some want to sell you things, some want to make you feel guilty and some just want you to know that they again woke up, ate breakfast (chic fil a!), had to go into work (oh the traffic!) and were subsequently annoyed/offended/amused by their co-workers/clients/patients. Then AFTER work, they checked into the Chevron, as they like to do on Monday evenings, and… oh, you get the point.

The interesting thing to me is not what they then did after discovering the extra long line at the Peachtree Chevron (hopefully come on over and shoot me) but how  they and all these other types of people express their personalities through facebook when it comes to triathlon/ironman training.

Generally there are four different types of facebook Ironman personalities that stand out. In no particular order, they include the bragger, the soapboxer, the fisher, and the oversharer.  A note: I’m sure we will all recognize some of ourselves in these characters so don’t be offended.

In fact, to set the right tone, let me start by making fun of myself. The more philosophically astute among you may realize that as I proceed with my anti-soapboxing rant, I am actually soapboxing myself. The Really smart ones may also realize that I was able to throw in a little backdoor brag with that last statement. (Backdoor bragging is the socially acceptable way to brag, as we’ll learn later.)

So without further delay, let’s start by identifying the four facebook posters and their posts about daily life.

1.       Bragger– in daily life this person is hard to miss. Nary a day goes by without this fellow tooting his own horn in neon flashing lights. He got out of bed, he got a promotion. He is so fabulous.. look at his pics!! He always having fun and living a perfect life. He’s got 1000 facebook friends… what a popular, successful guy!

2.       Soapboxer– The world is an unjust place and this girl wants to make sure you know about it. Responsible for all the posts that make you feel vaguely guilty even though you don’t really know the person in real life. ‘True friends are hard to find, as I have recently discovered’ It’s tough to go on when the whole world seems to be against you’  The soapboxer may also choose to express herself in a more positive sense particularly when they are shilling some type of product or service. Oftentimes it is something faddish but the zealotry is intense. ‘Eliminating soy from my diet changed my life in three days. Here ‘s the link to buy my soy-free soy and join my soy team!’

3.       Fisher– Woe. Is. Me. Oh, how we love the fisher. Always looking for a little self-esteem injection or pick me up. ‘Got some great news today!’ (please ask me about it ) ‘ Feeling like an ugly duckling today’ my favorite is an exasperated sound/noise/word with no additional explanation ‘ugh!!’

4.       Oversharer– Do I even need to describe the over-sharer further? Perhaps you enjoy reading scintillating publications such as the farmer’s almanac.  It’s kind of like that.. a recitation of mundane facts. On facebook it translates to dozens of daily ‘checkins’ and generally focuses on such fascinating topics as

• Sleeping-Getting out of bed. The more interesting posts may reference that this activity can be difficult. Going to bed late or early
• Going to work- why that sucks or(rarely) is awesome
• Driving- traffic, circuitous routes, getting lost, accidents, and traffic tickets
• Eating- Getting coffee, eating lunch, snacks
• Errands- Getting gas, picking up dry cleaning, dealing with childcare, and going to the bathroom. I’m putting myself to sleep here….zzzz

Now, since I know two of three of (the) readers of this blog are definitely triathletes, let’s get on to how this translates into facebook as training log

The Bragger– if you achieve something significant, you should share it with your friends and family. This behavior is okay. Notice the key qualifier significant. It’s really up to you, but you might also want to deliver it in a way that’s palatable to others.

Consider the following fictitious examples:

The Soapboxer– sharing things is an important part of humanity. By sharing your knowledge and opinions with others you are effectively engaging with society.. to a point. Key: accepting that your way of doing things might not be the best way for everyone.

Example:

ALL I have to say about this is you better be on the payroll of Magic Juice/Powder/Bar or it’d better contain actual  performance-enhancing, legal ingredients besides caffeine, sugar, and electrolytes (that pretty much leaves actual magic)

Fisher– When I think of a fisher, I think of Eeyore from Winnie the pooh. If you recall, his goal was to become the happiest donkey in the Hundred Acre Woods. If Eeyore was in Ironman training, he would undoubtedly post the following to get both the conversation and the compliments flowing:

And after the accolades and encouragement tapered off, if Eeyore could tweet he would undoubtedly post

Oversharer– An oversharer can’t tweet. It’s impossible. Even the space available for status updates is a severe limitation, so the oversharer has to go with multiple, multiple updates. They also can’t help but supplement their postings with one of those auto-update online logs that take some of the load off by posting For you.

So what kind of poster/online logger are you? Did I leave any important categories out? Are you really mad at me right now?

(Notice I left out people who post as their pets on facebook. Completely normal!)